Little Known Small Talk Secrets
A shy bride’s biggest worry about the wedding would probably be the part where she would need to go around, entertain guests, and talk to people. Not only does she feel self-conscious about talking to people she barely knows, she also has this little fear of appearing as a boring bride. Do not worry, here are some small talk pointers that would help you in entertaining the guests and enjoying it at the same time.
Practice, practice, practice!
Before the actual day of the wedding, spend some time practicing and honing your small talk skills by talking to people you meet in your everyday life such as the salesperson in the supermarket, the neighbor you have never talked to in years, or the mail carrier who brings your weekly mail.
Aside from this, you can also practice talking to yourself in the mirror. This sounds a little silly but many brides can attest that this technique works. Not only does this method allow you to improve your small talk skills in private, you will also be able to see if you have any bad conversation habits such as flailing your arms uncontrollably or licking your lips while you speak. With practicing, you will be able to get used to giving small talk by the time your big day comes.
Do your homework
The main reason why it is hard to talk to someone you do not know is because you do not know what to say. You do not know the person so you do not know what kind of topic would interest him or her. During your wedding day, you have limited time to converse with guests and you do not have the luxury of getting to know each one of them so it is a good idea to get to know the guests, especially those that are from the groom’s side prior to your wedding day.
No, it is not necessary to invite each of them for coffee just so you would know their life stories. All you need to do is to ask your spouse-to-be who is this and who is that, what they do for a living, and so on. Make a list of all the information so you do not make the mistake of juggling details, which can be quite embarrassing. Knowing some facts about the people can make it a lot easier to make small talk.
Spark interest
Now that you know what Aunt Carmel was in film school, do not forget to mention that you did take some film electives when you were in college (“I heard you went in Film School, I also wanted to do that but I only ended up taking some film electives!”). You have found out that your groom’s cousin Shelly is an artist, make sure you tell her about some of your exhibit trips (John told me about your artworks. Did he tell you we went to this exhibit the other day…).
Of course, when sparking interest, the main idea is to talk about something that the guest can relate to without going overboard or making up stories that do not exist. If you find no relation to the guest’s job or hobby, you can simply ask questions about it (“I’m not much into music but you think a woman my age can still learn to play the piano?”)
Compliment the guest
Complimenting the guest is another way of creating small talk. People love positive comments but be sincere when giving praises. (“I love those shoes, are they Vera Wang shoes?” or “Where did you buy your purse, it looks fabulous!”)
Learn to listen
Yes, you are the bride and this is your day but this does not mean you should do all the talking! Make sure that your conversations are two-way and that you give the other person a chance to talk. When you listen, listen attentively and take note of what the other person is saying. Avoid pseudo-listening, it is a big turn-off.
Be Confident
Lack of self-confidence can be overcome with the right attitude and mindset. Make sure that you practice a lot and act confident when entertaining guests and talking to people.
Even if you are not the kind of person who is usually the life of the party, there is no need to bore your guests if you know these bridal secrets on how to make small talk.
About Elaine
